Oh Fire in the Hole...

The Santa Clause 3: The Escape Clause(dir. Michael Lembeck)
So bad, it's good. Well, so bad, it's decent at least. It doesn't retain a constant state of ridiculous badness like Rush Hour 3 does so when you experience the stretches that aren't amusing at all, it's just bad. The annoying fat Jewish Elf kid from the second one is in this one and boy, you wish he got hit by a car more than ever, but thankfully, his time on screen is rather minimal. I fail to see how someone wouldn't think Tim Allen going "fire in the hole" while his ass is on fire or Judge Reinhold having a little too much Christmas spirit at least as mildly amusing. Everybody is so happy and joyful that it's borderline creepy, which makes it even more hilarious when it's cheesy "heart-warming" moments come around. Alan Arkin and Ann Margaret are the only ones that aren't very convincing in their drunkedness on the happiness that is Christmas time and stick out like sore thumbs. They're easily the worst thing in the movie. They just totally kill the Christmas spirit. Merry Christmas. I slightly recommend.
**1/2 out of ****
Live Free or Die Hard[Unrated Cut](dir. Len Wiseman)
This is seriously the cut that should have gone to theaters. Without all the coarse language, John McClane didn't seem like John McClane. Without all the swearing, they might as well have made it Ethan Hunt or James Bond. While this is the definitive version of the film, it's still marred with the same problems as the original cut. The action set-pieces are some of the most ridiculously fun set-pieces found in all of cinema, but when they're not happening, the film noticeably drags. It could be because the drama of the film isn't really all that involving, but I feel it's because of a more serious problem: they don't focus on John McClane enough. The previous Die Hard films were fine when they focused on the "bad guys" a little bit now and then because well, they had fucking guns and the bad guys in this are armed with computers so it's just not the same. The villains also barely register due to a lack of screen presence. Timothy Olyphant tries his damnedest to be sinister, but he's not all that threatening. While some of John's one-liners are hilarious, there's just some that verge on being offensive with their misogyny. It's hard to laugh or be expected to laugh when he refers to a woman he killed as a "another dead Asian hooker bitch" way after his encounter with her. It's still definitely the best action movie of the year and the second best Die Hard film after Die Hard 2: Die Harder. I recommend.
*** out of ****
Rescue Dawn(dir. Werner Herzog)
Little Dieter Needs to Fly is a great documentary and a fictional recount of his experience in a Laotian prison camp isn't a totally awful idea, but I simply couldn't shake the notion that he'd probably fuck it up especially with the relative Hollywood-ish gloss this film had in it's trailers. It's not a total fuck up, but it's hard to really call it a resounding success as well. I'd imagine the film would have been more effective if it was much more grim and bleak especially in concern with this film's ending. There's also the fact that the film is undeniably overlong with the time spent in the prison camp(more reasonable) and time spent outside of the prison camp(more unreasonable). The decapitation scene was handled rather sloppily(can't show the head get cut off!). While I'm fine with not going crazy on the blood and guts in movies, this film felt like it specifically was trying to divert away from it in rather clumsy ways. The ending, while touching, seemed like it was lifted from a goddamn inspirational sports movie. Dieter threw the winning catch! It's hard not to be moved by this, but when you think about it, was this film really necessary? Hearing the real Dieter talk about his life experiences is much more emotionally involving than watching actors recreate it. I don't think the film was all that Hollywood-ized outside of it's ending, but there's still an undeniable sensation that Herzog was holding back or was held back. I slightly recommend.
**1/2 out of ****

Oh Klaus...

Aguirre: The Wrath of God(dir. Werner Herzog)
Amazing. I greatly admired this film from my first viewing, but I can't honestly say that I was in love with it. This movie was much better this time around maybe it had to do with the theater setting or maybe I'm just used to his style. I don't know.
**** out of ****

Oh Oil...

Lessons of Darkness(dir. Werner Herzog)
Some of the most beautiful images I've ever seen. I didn't know it was possible to make fire, oil, and sand look so good. This film is like poetry for the eyes. The music of the film is very beautiful. Herzog's narration is unsettling and quite relaxing. The interviews were depressing, but opens your mind about how soldiers treat civilians in wars. The most haunting scene is when the workers blow up the oil well and it starts raining oil. That was insane. This movie is amazing. This is his best movie I've seen so far.
**** out of ****

Aguirre, The Wrath of God Review

Werner Herzog's films feel very raw as if what he is capturing is actually happening. He is obviously infatuated with nature and its creatures. There is one scene with a baby sloth and another of a mother rat-like creature carrying its babies somewhere out of their nest. There is also the infamous scene with all those damn monkies. Kinski's performance isn't that great. To tell you the truth, most of the performances feel very unnatural, but the overall feel to the film is pretty amazing. I liked the music alot especially the Indian pipe music. This film is usually considered Herzog's masterpiece and to an extent, I would probably have to agree with that. I'm not sure if I like this more than Enigma of Kaspar Hauser, but it was pretty amazing.
**** out of ****

Stroszek Review

I really can't think of anything to say. It feels so raw and non-stylized that you have to dig into it. It is pretty bizarre, but it works. It is not as good as The Enigma of Kaspar Hauser, but better than Fitzcarraldo.
*** out of ****