Cassandra's Dream(dir. Woody Allen)
REVIEW PENDING...
*1/2 out of ****
Showing posts with label bad. Show all posts
Showing posts with label bad. Show all posts
Sunday, June 08, 2008
Sunday, June 01, 2008
Oh National Treasure 2...
National Treasure 2: Book of Secrets(dir. IDK IDC)
REVIEW PENDING...
*1/2 out of ****
REVIEW PENDING...
*1/2 out of ****
Sunday, May 04, 2008
Tuesday, April 01, 2008
Oh Diary of the Dead...
Diary of the Dead(dir. George A. Romero)
Place Holder Review: http://www.cinema-scope.com/cs34/cur_nayman_diary.html
REVIEW PENDING...
*1/2 out of ****
Place Holder Review: http://www.cinema-scope.com/cs34/cur_nayman_diary.html
REVIEW PENDING...
*1/2 out of ****
Friday, March 28, 2008
Oh In the Valley of Elah...
In the Valley of Elah(dir. Paul Haggis)
REVIEW PENDING...
*1/2 or ** out of ****
REVIEW PENDING...
*1/2 or ** out of ****
Monday, March 17, 2008
Monday, February 18, 2008
Oh GOB...
Film:
The Brothers Solomon(dir. Bob Odenkirk)
The best way to sum it up is to rip off the quote on the front cover: it's Dumb and Dumber meets Knocked Up. That's not to say that it comes close to either of those films in terms of quality since the whole affair is a relatively laughless experience because the characters are so upbeat and cheerful that they come across as more creepy than funny. This is a serious contender for worst film from last year with supposedly funny moments like a somewhat overweight woman getting hit by a bus, Will Arnett's character kissing and then licking the wet footprint of the chick he wants to bag, and essentially every line reading by Will Forte. It was bad.
*1/2 out of ****
Music:
Disfear - Live the Storm
Probably the best thing I've listened to from this year so far, but given the group's pedigree(singer from At the Gates, guitarist from Entombed), it's still kind of disappointing. In Exodus is a highlight.
*** out of ****
The Raveonettes - Lust Lust Lust
Its a lot like the recent album by The Magnetic Fields in that it sounds all shoegaze-y and pop-y. I'd rate the albums about the same, but I'd probably give this one the edge.
**1/2 out of ****
British Sea Power - Do You Like Rock Music?
It has some songs that are on the cusp of being good but they all end up falling short. The whole album screams EPIC and in a way is a mess because of it. It's overlong and the opening track sounds a little too much like Modest Mouse's "Float On" to the point that it almost verges on plagiary. It's interesting enough to maybe warrant a listen, but overall, it's pretty average.
** out of ****
The Brothers Solomon(dir. Bob Odenkirk)
The best way to sum it up is to rip off the quote on the front cover: it's Dumb and Dumber meets Knocked Up. That's not to say that it comes close to either of those films in terms of quality since the whole affair is a relatively laughless experience because the characters are so upbeat and cheerful that they come across as more creepy than funny. This is a serious contender for worst film from last year with supposedly funny moments like a somewhat overweight woman getting hit by a bus, Will Arnett's character kissing and then licking the wet footprint of the chick he wants to bag, and essentially every line reading by Will Forte. It was bad.
*1/2 out of ****
Music:
Disfear - Live the Storm
Probably the best thing I've listened to from this year so far, but given the group's pedigree(singer from At the Gates, guitarist from Entombed), it's still kind of disappointing. In Exodus is a highlight.
*** out of ****
The Raveonettes - Lust Lust Lust
Its a lot like the recent album by The Magnetic Fields in that it sounds all shoegaze-y and pop-y. I'd rate the albums about the same, but I'd probably give this one the edge.
**1/2 out of ****
British Sea Power - Do You Like Rock Music?
It has some songs that are on the cusp of being good but they all end up falling short. The whole album screams EPIC and in a way is a mess because of it. It's overlong and the opening track sounds a little too much like Modest Mouse's "Float On" to the point that it almost verges on plagiary. It's interesting enough to maybe warrant a listen, but overall, it's pretty average.
** out of ****
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
Oh Yeah...
Film/TV:
The Game Plan(dir. Andy Fickman)[rewatch]
I will continue to champion The Rock's performance until another rewatch convinces me that it's not one of the most entertaining performances of last year, but during this viewing, I actually started to become emotionally involved with this story more than I would have liked to the point that I almost started to cry at given moments. Nothing profoundly depressing really happens, but father-offspring relationships in film, when done well, often have a tendency of getting me emotional beyond belief. The last time I ever cried at a movie was Flags of Our Fathers because of some of the father-son relationship moments, but that was actually understandable. This, he just gets the kid taken away and predictably gets her back, but there's something about this film that I found profoundly touching and heartwarming about its view on familial relationships and how we should cherish these relationships more often. It's not exactly a new message, but the way The Rock and company handle it is most definitely heartfelt and that's all that really matters in my eyes. It does stumble with some of it's comedic moments because it's a fucking PG-rated Disney film with The Rock in it, but The Rock's ability to elicit laughs through what I assume is purposeful hammy delivery of some of his lines like the soon-to-be-legendary "#1 on the field and #1 in your heart" catchphrase his character constantly recites and his genius facial expressions makes it a performance worth cherishing and once, the film turns somewhat serious, his performance actually improves immensely. It's this adaptive element to his performance that makes it fascinating and what I deem more interesting than DDL's in There Will Be Blood. This movie definitely puts the heart at #1 and the mind at maybe #532, but in a way, I think it's some sort of family film masterpiece because of it. It's not considered a guilty pleasure by me any longer. I wholeheartedly recommend.
*** out of ****
Aqua Teen Hunger Force: Volume 2[TV]
When I was watching one of the new episodes recently, it donned on me: Aqua Teen Hunger Force is my favorite TV show. Sure, there are other shows that have vied for this position like Curb Your Enthusiasm, Seinfeld, and some other sitcoms, but this is the show that consistently amazes me with its bizarre artistry and happens to make me laugh more often than any of those others shows. It has had its ups and downs like any other show and this season had some lows like the surprisingly lame and tame Super Trivia and the obligatory obnoxious episode with MC Chris's MC Pee Pants character, but for 13 episodes, this season is the pinnacle of television comedy that opens and closes with a bang. With great episodes like Mail Order Bride, Cybernetic Ghost of Christmas Past from the Future, Super Squatter, Super Bowl, and the list goes on, it's hard not to regard this a masterpiece of television art and entertainment.
**** out of ****
The Hunting Party(dir. Richard Shepard)
A film so satisfied with itself that if it was able to suck it's own dick, it would very well do so and afterwards, start making fun of itself for doing so. The film's deconstructive elements don't come off as witty and clever like the filmmakers probably thought they would, but come off as a depressing form of preemptive defense to criticism. You could imagine one of the individuals involved in the production responding to criticism with, "Well, didn't you see the title cards that show that the film is aware that it's not honest and truthful?" In the film's realm of logic, a woman would pride herself for being gang raped for hours at a time to the point that she gives out this information as a display of authority over our central protagonists who are journalists portrayed as adrenaline junkies that find some sort of sick satisfaction out of being around death and war until one of the bitches they were banging turns up dead because of this bad dude's ethnic cleansing campaign. The proceedings are watchable to a degree, but you have to wonder what the fuck were the people making this thinking? The protagonists are as smug as the filmmakers so it's hard to really give a shit about any of them and probably the most infuriating aspect of the film is a title card at the end that puts quotations around searching in a sentence similar to "The U.S. are probably busy 'searching' for Osama bin Laden." I'm fine with people criticizing the U.S., but the image of the director patting himself on the back for being such an awesome rebel rouser is simply inescapable. Fuck you Richard Shepard and fuck your film.
*1/2 out of ****
Blue Velvet(dir. David Lynch)
Usually, I go out of my way not to look at the reviews on the Blockbuster Online site not because I might be influenced and steal someone's ideas for these reviews, but because they're usually so goddamn stupid that it simply astounds me that there's people out there that actually write those horrible reviews. A lot of the users on there wrote about how this film was too weird and I'm properly in the minority that thought it wasn't weird enough at least in relation to Lynch's current output. I just find it difficult to regard this film in a very positive light knowing that he made what I feel are much better films. This whole muckraking theme of digging up the dirty little secrets in suburbia is not an exactly profound one and Frank Booth is such a stereotypically evil dude that he even have lackeys that cackle a bunch. Most interesting aspect of this story is the character of Dorothy, but the film doesn't focus on her all that much at least in comparison to Jeffrey and Sandy that are so golly gee wholesome that they verge on parody. I still enjoyed the film and there's a technique that is employed near the end that makes it seem like we're not supposed to buy into the ending too much so maybe a rewatch would start to unveil something resembling a masterpiece. The ending, while maybe a little too pat, is mainly noteworthy for its final shot of Isabella Rosselini hugging her son and the music of Blue Velvet playing hinting that she will never be able to forget all the abuse that Frank has put her through. It starts to make you question the film as a whole and provides a lot of food for thought that was severely missing in the rest of the picture. I slightly recommend.
**1/2 out of ****
The Brave One(dir. Neil Jordan)
It wasn't as godawful as I was expecting and it remains ultimately watchable throughout, but it just feels so bland and most of all unnecessary that I simply can't recommend it. In a world with Ms .45, I have no idea why I would recommend this. A scene from the film even reminded me of a scene from another Abel Ferrara film, King of New York, with the two black hoods approaching and harassing Foster's character on a subway, but the result is predictable and dull, while the result in King of New York was slightly ridiculous yet totally awesome. This film also leaves really no interpretation for the viewer as it questions its protagonist's actions rather bluntly and a call-in radio session that provides all sorts of angles for this situation for the viewer in probably the most asinine way imaginable. Its not a painful watch or anything, but it's hard to imagine having a desire to watch it ever again or remembering it at all in the coming weeks. It was mediocre.
** out of ****
Music:
Drive-By Truckers - Brighter Than Creation's Dark
** out of ****
Against Me! - New Wave
**1/2 out of ****
Blonde Redhead - 23
**1/2 out of ****
The Game Plan(dir. Andy Fickman)[rewatch]
I will continue to champion The Rock's performance until another rewatch convinces me that it's not one of the most entertaining performances of last year, but during this viewing, I actually started to become emotionally involved with this story more than I would have liked to the point that I almost started to cry at given moments. Nothing profoundly depressing really happens, but father-offspring relationships in film, when done well, often have a tendency of getting me emotional beyond belief. The last time I ever cried at a movie was Flags of Our Fathers because of some of the father-son relationship moments, but that was actually understandable. This, he just gets the kid taken away and predictably gets her back, but there's something about this film that I found profoundly touching and heartwarming about its view on familial relationships and how we should cherish these relationships more often. It's not exactly a new message, but the way The Rock and company handle it is most definitely heartfelt and that's all that really matters in my eyes. It does stumble with some of it's comedic moments because it's a fucking PG-rated Disney film with The Rock in it, but The Rock's ability to elicit laughs through what I assume is purposeful hammy delivery of some of his lines like the soon-to-be-legendary "#1 on the field and #1 in your heart" catchphrase his character constantly recites and his genius facial expressions makes it a performance worth cherishing and once, the film turns somewhat serious, his performance actually improves immensely. It's this adaptive element to his performance that makes it fascinating and what I deem more interesting than DDL's in There Will Be Blood. This movie definitely puts the heart at #1 and the mind at maybe #532, but in a way, I think it's some sort of family film masterpiece because of it. It's not considered a guilty pleasure by me any longer. I wholeheartedly recommend.
*** out of ****
Aqua Teen Hunger Force: Volume 2[TV]
When I was watching one of the new episodes recently, it donned on me: Aqua Teen Hunger Force is my favorite TV show. Sure, there are other shows that have vied for this position like Curb Your Enthusiasm, Seinfeld, and some other sitcoms, but this is the show that consistently amazes me with its bizarre artistry and happens to make me laugh more often than any of those others shows. It has had its ups and downs like any other show and this season had some lows like the surprisingly lame and tame Super Trivia and the obligatory obnoxious episode with MC Chris's MC Pee Pants character, but for 13 episodes, this season is the pinnacle of television comedy that opens and closes with a bang. With great episodes like Mail Order Bride, Cybernetic Ghost of Christmas Past from the Future, Super Squatter, Super Bowl, and the list goes on, it's hard not to regard this a masterpiece of television art and entertainment.
**** out of ****
The Hunting Party(dir. Richard Shepard)
A film so satisfied with itself that if it was able to suck it's own dick, it would very well do so and afterwards, start making fun of itself for doing so. The film's deconstructive elements don't come off as witty and clever like the filmmakers probably thought they would, but come off as a depressing form of preemptive defense to criticism. You could imagine one of the individuals involved in the production responding to criticism with, "Well, didn't you see the title cards that show that the film is aware that it's not honest and truthful?" In the film's realm of logic, a woman would pride herself for being gang raped for hours at a time to the point that she gives out this information as a display of authority over our central protagonists who are journalists portrayed as adrenaline junkies that find some sort of sick satisfaction out of being around death and war until one of the bitches they were banging turns up dead because of this bad dude's ethnic cleansing campaign. The proceedings are watchable to a degree, but you have to wonder what the fuck were the people making this thinking? The protagonists are as smug as the filmmakers so it's hard to really give a shit about any of them and probably the most infuriating aspect of the film is a title card at the end that puts quotations around searching in a sentence similar to "The U.S. are probably busy 'searching' for Osama bin Laden." I'm fine with people criticizing the U.S., but the image of the director patting himself on the back for being such an awesome rebel rouser is simply inescapable. Fuck you Richard Shepard and fuck your film.
*1/2 out of ****
Blue Velvet(dir. David Lynch)
Usually, I go out of my way not to look at the reviews on the Blockbuster Online site not because I might be influenced and steal someone's ideas for these reviews, but because they're usually so goddamn stupid that it simply astounds me that there's people out there that actually write those horrible reviews. A lot of the users on there wrote about how this film was too weird and I'm properly in the minority that thought it wasn't weird enough at least in relation to Lynch's current output. I just find it difficult to regard this film in a very positive light knowing that he made what I feel are much better films. This whole muckraking theme of digging up the dirty little secrets in suburbia is not an exactly profound one and Frank Booth is such a stereotypically evil dude that he even have lackeys that cackle a bunch. Most interesting aspect of this story is the character of Dorothy, but the film doesn't focus on her all that much at least in comparison to Jeffrey and Sandy that are so golly gee wholesome that they verge on parody. I still enjoyed the film and there's a technique that is employed near the end that makes it seem like we're not supposed to buy into the ending too much so maybe a rewatch would start to unveil something resembling a masterpiece. The ending, while maybe a little too pat, is mainly noteworthy for its final shot of Isabella Rosselini hugging her son and the music of Blue Velvet playing hinting that she will never be able to forget all the abuse that Frank has put her through. It starts to make you question the film as a whole and provides a lot of food for thought that was severely missing in the rest of the picture. I slightly recommend.
**1/2 out of ****
The Brave One(dir. Neil Jordan)
It wasn't as godawful as I was expecting and it remains ultimately watchable throughout, but it just feels so bland and most of all unnecessary that I simply can't recommend it. In a world with Ms .45, I have no idea why I would recommend this. A scene from the film even reminded me of a scene from another Abel Ferrara film, King of New York, with the two black hoods approaching and harassing Foster's character on a subway, but the result is predictable and dull, while the result in King of New York was slightly ridiculous yet totally awesome. This film also leaves really no interpretation for the viewer as it questions its protagonist's actions rather bluntly and a call-in radio session that provides all sorts of angles for this situation for the viewer in probably the most asinine way imaginable. Its not a painful watch or anything, but it's hard to imagine having a desire to watch it ever again or remembering it at all in the coming weeks. It was mediocre.
** out of ****
Music:
Drive-By Truckers - Brighter Than Creation's Dark
** out of ****
Against Me! - New Wave
**1/2 out of ****
Blonde Redhead - 23
**1/2 out of ****
Thursday, January 17, 2008
Oh Oates and Carrandine...
The Shooting(dir. Monte Hellman)
I have never seen a film with expansive American desert as it's backdrop that felt so claustrophobic. The whole experience is one of disorientation with Hellman sometimes transitioning from a scene in an abrupt and perplexing manner. Much like the film's protagonist, the viewer has to always be on his/her toes since the journey is unexpected yet somehow feels entirely premeditated. The film's setting is really the star of the film and not Warren Oates, who still gives a good performance despite not being the star. It's shot in such a fashion that makes it so drab and unflattering that it makes all the recent films set in the desert look childish in comparison. The desert truly looks like purgatory, waiting to suffocate it's inhabitants. The editing of it's fatalistic ending is haunting in it's sun-drenched and off-beat rhythm. This is how you make an existential western. It's a masterpiece.
**** out of ****
Welcome to L.A.(dir. Alan Rudolph)
At first, it was sort of charming in it's romantic Altman-esque tapestry, but as it went along, you quickly realize how much of a master Altman was with juggling the characters and progressing the narratives in his films. The film just eventually became as aimless as its characters' love lives. Keith Carradine could be considered the main character and he essentially plays his womanizing character from Nashville in a less despicable manner with no mustache, just goatee. The whole film feels like a sub-par Nashville with characters that never feel wholly etched out and music that starts off fine but quickly becomes grating because of its repetitive sounding quality and it being overused past the point of tolerance. The film became repetitious and basically went nowhere. It has no idea what to do with it's vast repertoire of characters other than having them sometimes hook up with each other. It was bad.
*1/2 out of ****
I have never seen a film with expansive American desert as it's backdrop that felt so claustrophobic. The whole experience is one of disorientation with Hellman sometimes transitioning from a scene in an abrupt and perplexing manner. Much like the film's protagonist, the viewer has to always be on his/her toes since the journey is unexpected yet somehow feels entirely premeditated. The film's setting is really the star of the film and not Warren Oates, who still gives a good performance despite not being the star. It's shot in such a fashion that makes it so drab and unflattering that it makes all the recent films set in the desert look childish in comparison. The desert truly looks like purgatory, waiting to suffocate it's inhabitants. The editing of it's fatalistic ending is haunting in it's sun-drenched and off-beat rhythm. This is how you make an existential western. It's a masterpiece.
**** out of ****
Welcome to L.A.(dir. Alan Rudolph)
At first, it was sort of charming in it's romantic Altman-esque tapestry, but as it went along, you quickly realize how much of a master Altman was with juggling the characters and progressing the narratives in his films. The film just eventually became as aimless as its characters' love lives. Keith Carradine could be considered the main character and he essentially plays his womanizing character from Nashville in a less despicable manner with no mustache, just goatee. The whole film feels like a sub-par Nashville with characters that never feel wholly etched out and music that starts off fine but quickly becomes grating because of its repetitive sounding quality and it being overused past the point of tolerance. The film became repetitious and basically went nowhere. It has no idea what to do with it's vast repertoire of characters other than having them sometimes hook up with each other. It was bad.
*1/2 out of ****
Saturday, December 29, 2007
Oh Nazis & Street Musicians & Six Bob Dylans...
Black Book(dir. Paul Verhoeven)
I've seen it described as Showgirls meets Schindler's List and if you go into it expecting that's what it's going to be, you'll definitely be disappointed. It has some perverse qualities like one memorable moment where a man raises a gun under the covers, making it look like an erection, but it's just not pulpy enough to really come across as anything resembling what that description seems to suggest. It's actually pretty dry and is a little too prestige-y for it's own good. The film goes kind of crazy with the double crosses in the events after the war and doesn't quite deliver on the promise of a Paul Verhoeven directed movie about a Jewish woman that sleeps with Nazi(s) to help the resistance effort. I slightly recommend
**1/2 out of ****
Once(dir. John Carney)
Musical montage after musical montage, it somehow remains blandly charming up until the end, which secured it's current notch in the recommendation scale because of it's heartwarming nature. It's definitely a musical film and like musical films, if the songs don't do much for you emotionally, you're not going to be all that emotionally involved. I was relatively indifferent until the ending rolled around. I slightly recommend.
**1/2 out of ****
I'm not there.(dir. Todd Haynes)
I should get this out of the way: I don't know jack shit about Bob Dylan. I just know loose details, but even without a proper knowledge of Dylan, it's hard to resist calling this film a superficial look at a life. All the film really has going for it is it's central gimmick of six actors portraying six different Dylans. There's the whole "reinventing himself" aspect of his life that makes this narrative technique seem viable, but given that the film doesn't have a profound sense of time in correlation to each of the separate Dylans, it's hard to really take this idea and run with it in an intellectual way. Interestingly, the film that this reminds me most of was Emilio Estevez's atrocious Bobby, but instead of being cringe-inducingly sappy, it's dully pretentious and much like that film, it's look at the 60's is merely a superficial history lesson and one of it's most affective moments is a brief glimpse at it's central figure in documentary footage. Another affective moment in the film happens to be a bizarre funeral/concert set in Richard Gere's storyline that contains an emotional sincerity and serenity that is truly lacking in the rest of the picture. Outside of Marcus Carl Franklin and Richard Gere, all the actors portraying a "persona" of Dylan simply employ a stylized impersonation and call it a performance. You never grow to care about any of these "personas" so the film is practically devoid of emotional engagement. This would be fine if it was intellectually stimulating since the film's construction is obviously heady, but it's not. You never get a sense of Dylan as a person by watching this outside of the brief glimpse of the actual Dylan at the end that truly shows that a documentary would have probably been a better option for Haynes, but you know, there's nothing really "genius" or "artistic" about that. As an examination of an artist, it fails and as simply an enjoyable piece of cinema, it fails as well.
*1/2 out of ****
I've seen it described as Showgirls meets Schindler's List and if you go into it expecting that's what it's going to be, you'll definitely be disappointed. It has some perverse qualities like one memorable moment where a man raises a gun under the covers, making it look like an erection, but it's just not pulpy enough to really come across as anything resembling what that description seems to suggest. It's actually pretty dry and is a little too prestige-y for it's own good. The film goes kind of crazy with the double crosses in the events after the war and doesn't quite deliver on the promise of a Paul Verhoeven directed movie about a Jewish woman that sleeps with Nazi(s) to help the resistance effort. I slightly recommend
**1/2 out of ****
Once(dir. John Carney)
Musical montage after musical montage, it somehow remains blandly charming up until the end, which secured it's current notch in the recommendation scale because of it's heartwarming nature. It's definitely a musical film and like musical films, if the songs don't do much for you emotionally, you're not going to be all that emotionally involved. I was relatively indifferent until the ending rolled around. I slightly recommend.
**1/2 out of ****
I'm not there.(dir. Todd Haynes)
I should get this out of the way: I don't know jack shit about Bob Dylan. I just know loose details, but even without a proper knowledge of Dylan, it's hard to resist calling this film a superficial look at a life. All the film really has going for it is it's central gimmick of six actors portraying six different Dylans. There's the whole "reinventing himself" aspect of his life that makes this narrative technique seem viable, but given that the film doesn't have a profound sense of time in correlation to each of the separate Dylans, it's hard to really take this idea and run with it in an intellectual way. Interestingly, the film that this reminds me most of was Emilio Estevez's atrocious Bobby, but instead of being cringe-inducingly sappy, it's dully pretentious and much like that film, it's look at the 60's is merely a superficial history lesson and one of it's most affective moments is a brief glimpse at it's central figure in documentary footage. Another affective moment in the film happens to be a bizarre funeral/concert set in Richard Gere's storyline that contains an emotional sincerity and serenity that is truly lacking in the rest of the picture. Outside of Marcus Carl Franklin and Richard Gere, all the actors portraying a "persona" of Dylan simply employ a stylized impersonation and call it a performance. You never grow to care about any of these "personas" so the film is practically devoid of emotional engagement. This would be fine if it was intellectually stimulating since the film's construction is obviously heady, but it's not. You never get a sense of Dylan as a person by watching this outside of the brief glimpse of the actual Dylan at the end that truly shows that a documentary would have probably been a better option for Haynes, but you know, there's nothing really "genius" or "artistic" about that. As an examination of an artist, it fails and as simply an enjoyable piece of cinema, it fails as well.
*1/2 out of ****
Monday, December 24, 2007
Oh Christmas Eve...
The Kingdom(dir. Peter Berg)
More like The King-dumb. I'd imagine this film would be more offensive to individuals who easily get worked up by the war in Iraq, so I only found it to be mildly offensive. It exploits our current political climate to create action-movie thrills. It reaches it's apex of offensiveness in the beginning with some crazy jihad Muslims killing random American bystanders in Saudi Arabia. That doesn't sound all that offensive, but the tone employed to display these proceedings created a level of excitement that was simply inexcusable. I almost wanted to laugh at the horribly mismatched nature of the tone and what was happening onscreen. It, however, eventually settles on a more sober and less ridiculous tone. There's also the ending that tries to equate our American "bad ass" protagonists to the crazy Muslim zealots that we were supposed to be rooting for to die in probably the most obvious and clumsiest way possible, but you know, it shows that it's fair and balanced and stuff. It was vaguely involving at given moments and it didn't offend me too much with it's pro-American, kill all the Muslims attitude. It was also not as boring of a slog as the next film I'm reviewing. It was mediocre.
** out of ****
The Bourne Ultimatum(dir. Peter Greengrass)
The film above and this film have a lot in common in terms of aesthetics with their shaky camerawork and intense amount of editing. Both films shoot their action scenes in such a way that you can't make out what is happening and the audience is expected to get excited because of this lack of clarity. It's dumb. Dumb dumb dumb. The film above at least had a little humor, while this is just humorless and numbing. There was some vaguely affecting moments in the film above, while this film is just cold and so serious that it's impossible to have any fun or be emotionally involved with it in any way. The level of seriousness in the film above was at least a little bit understandable given that it was striving to be an action movie stripped from today's headlines, while this is just an action movie with a story that might be described as Mission: Impossible or James Bond with amnesia. I have never seen the previous two films in the series, but it's hard to imagine that seeing both beforehand would have made this a more enjoyable experience. People have also said that this could be the best film in the series so I can't imagine diving into the others anytime soon. If any critics think this is a fun little action movie, then it's pretty obvious that these critics must confuse excitement with boredom. The film is so serious that it's basically the equivalent of a comedian that would stop a gig if anybody dare laugh at one of his/her jokes. The film tries to be tense the whole time and fails miserably at trying to generate any suspense or audience involvement whatsoever. This is the future of action cinema? Fuck that. Take me back to the late 80's and early 90's immediately if that is true. It was bad. Bad bad bad.
*1/2 out of ****
More like The King-dumb. I'd imagine this film would be more offensive to individuals who easily get worked up by the war in Iraq, so I only found it to be mildly offensive. It exploits our current political climate to create action-movie thrills. It reaches it's apex of offensiveness in the beginning with some crazy jihad Muslims killing random American bystanders in Saudi Arabia. That doesn't sound all that offensive, but the tone employed to display these proceedings created a level of excitement that was simply inexcusable. I almost wanted to laugh at the horribly mismatched nature of the tone and what was happening onscreen. It, however, eventually settles on a more sober and less ridiculous tone. There's also the ending that tries to equate our American "bad ass" protagonists to the crazy Muslim zealots that we were supposed to be rooting for to die in probably the most obvious and clumsiest way possible, but you know, it shows that it's fair and balanced and stuff. It was vaguely involving at given moments and it didn't offend me too much with it's pro-American, kill all the Muslims attitude. It was also not as boring of a slog as the next film I'm reviewing. It was mediocre.
** out of ****
The Bourne Ultimatum(dir. Peter Greengrass)
The film above and this film have a lot in common in terms of aesthetics with their shaky camerawork and intense amount of editing. Both films shoot their action scenes in such a way that you can't make out what is happening and the audience is expected to get excited because of this lack of clarity. It's dumb. Dumb dumb dumb. The film above at least had a little humor, while this is just humorless and numbing. There was some vaguely affecting moments in the film above, while this film is just cold and so serious that it's impossible to have any fun or be emotionally involved with it in any way. The level of seriousness in the film above was at least a little bit understandable given that it was striving to be an action movie stripped from today's headlines, while this is just an action movie with a story that might be described as Mission: Impossible or James Bond with amnesia. I have never seen the previous two films in the series, but it's hard to imagine that seeing both beforehand would have made this a more enjoyable experience. People have also said that this could be the best film in the series so I can't imagine diving into the others anytime soon. If any critics think this is a fun little action movie, then it's pretty obvious that these critics must confuse excitement with boredom. The film is so serious that it's basically the equivalent of a comedian that would stop a gig if anybody dare laugh at one of his/her jokes. The film tries to be tense the whole time and fails miserably at trying to generate any suspense or audience involvement whatsoever. This is the future of action cinema? Fuck that. Take me back to the late 80's and early 90's immediately if that is true. It was bad. Bad bad bad.
*1/2 out of ****
Oh I Want to Be An American...
Rush Hour 3(dir. Brett Ratner)[rewatch]
I was amazed at how much I remembered from my first viewing since it really has little semblance of a plot and I've watched a ton of movies in between that viewing and this one. I guess it's true that the classics just stick with you. It wasn't quite as beautiful this time around with it's bad-goodness and I might have to dub The Game Plan as my guilty pleasure of the year now. The performance weren't as intricate and nuanced as I once remembered them to be. It's decent in a bad-good way. I slightly recommend.
**1/2 out of ****
Before the Devil Knows You're Dead(dir. Sidney Lumet)
Had to watch the Miami Vice ending on Youtube for the 50th time afterwards just to make sure that I wasn't in a shitty mood. I don't know what to say about this. It's pretty much an (over)acting showcase so it wasn't engaging in any sort of profound way and the performances ended up being all over the place. Marisa Tomei, while getting some points for being naked in practically every scene, is simply awful in her "big" scene. The whole goddamn movie is basically a string of "big" scenes, where all the actors overact their asses off and don't resemble anything remotely human. There's nothing wrong with the notion of actors overacting if they're still able to create something that resembles a human being, but in this film, they just basically move around and be as dramatic as possible at given moments. Sidney Lumet in some interview on Variety's website talked about how he basically just let the actors work and didn't give much direction in terms of performances. This could easily be just the director being modest, but after watching the film, what he said is most likely true. He basically let his actors run amok with no sense of control or direction. There's also scenes within the film that are supposed to ring tragic but end up falling flat like Andy pouring rocks on his table and the conclusion to the film due to being unable to connect with it because of the performances. The only actor that came out of the film with any respect from me was Michael Shannon, who almost gleefully plays the burglar's sleazy brother-in-law. There's a brief patch towards the end, where the intensity of the film's activities almost matches the actors' and I would probably say this is easily the best portion of the film and then the ending quickly follows and back to feeling indifferent as ever again. The film's character problem is not a matter of them just being merely unlikeable, it's a matter of not being able to detect any sense of humanity in any of them in order to recognize them in an emotional way. I haven't even touched upon how stupid the structure of the narrative is. The film is told in a non-linear format much like a film like Reservoir Dogs. It serves no purpose and I don't understand why Lumet decided to direct this script outside of probably trying to prove that he's still hip with these crazy kids like Christopher Nolan and Quentin Tarantino. The film as a whole basically registered with a long and drawn-out thud. It was bad.
*1/2 out of ****
I was amazed at how much I remembered from my first viewing since it really has little semblance of a plot and I've watched a ton of movies in between that viewing and this one. I guess it's true that the classics just stick with you. It wasn't quite as beautiful this time around with it's bad-goodness and I might have to dub The Game Plan as my guilty pleasure of the year now. The performance weren't as intricate and nuanced as I once remembered them to be. It's decent in a bad-good way. I slightly recommend.
**1/2 out of ****
Before the Devil Knows You're Dead(dir. Sidney Lumet)
Had to watch the Miami Vice ending on Youtube for the 50th time afterwards just to make sure that I wasn't in a shitty mood. I don't know what to say about this. It's pretty much an (over)acting showcase so it wasn't engaging in any sort of profound way and the performances ended up being all over the place. Marisa Tomei, while getting some points for being naked in practically every scene, is simply awful in her "big" scene. The whole goddamn movie is basically a string of "big" scenes, where all the actors overact their asses off and don't resemble anything remotely human. There's nothing wrong with the notion of actors overacting if they're still able to create something that resembles a human being, but in this film, they just basically move around and be as dramatic as possible at given moments. Sidney Lumet in some interview on Variety's website talked about how he basically just let the actors work and didn't give much direction in terms of performances. This could easily be just the director being modest, but after watching the film, what he said is most likely true. He basically let his actors run amok with no sense of control or direction. There's also scenes within the film that are supposed to ring tragic but end up falling flat like Andy pouring rocks on his table and the conclusion to the film due to being unable to connect with it because of the performances. The only actor that came out of the film with any respect from me was Michael Shannon, who almost gleefully plays the burglar's sleazy brother-in-law. There's a brief patch towards the end, where the intensity of the film's activities almost matches the actors' and I would probably say this is easily the best portion of the film and then the ending quickly follows and back to feeling indifferent as ever again. The film's character problem is not a matter of them just being merely unlikeable, it's a matter of not being able to detect any sense of humanity in any of them in order to recognize them in an emotional way. I haven't even touched upon how stupid the structure of the narrative is. The film is told in a non-linear format much like a film like Reservoir Dogs. It serves no purpose and I don't understand why Lumet decided to direct this script outside of probably trying to prove that he's still hip with these crazy kids like Christopher Nolan and Quentin Tarantino. The film as a whole basically registered with a long and drawn-out thud. It was bad.
*1/2 out of ****
Thursday, November 08, 2007
Oh Marriage...
License to Wed(dir. Ken Kwapis)
One of those only one person can see that the asshole is an asshole movies. I can't stand those movies, but wait, there's a twist, the guy that sees the asshole for what he is loves the dumb bitch in the movie. It's hard to like any of these characters since these types of movies usually make all the characters seem fucking retarded because they can't tell that the asshole is an asshole so yeah. Mandy Moore's character is pretty much a dumb bitch(OH NO, HE HASN'T WRITTEN HIS VOWS YET!) so it's hard to really sympathize with the dude from The Office's character that much because he's in love with her. The ending is that type of faux happy ending found in every terrible chick flick imaginable, which are always a joy to watch. I also hate fat annoying Jewish kids and thank God, this movie has one. It was pretty bad.
*1/2 out of ****
Broken English(dir. Zoe R. Cassavetes)
You could say this is my "Scoop" of this year where I know the movie is fluff, but that doesn't stop me from enjoying it immensely. It's basically a chick flick with indie aesthetics and I guess some could see that as a slam, but sometimes, you just need a hopelessly romantic movie once in a while and boy, this movie is hopelessly romantic. There are some moments that don't work all that well and the movie was sort of drag until the central romance comes into play. Some of it's plot devices were pretty clichéd and contrived as well, but as a whole, the film was absolutely delightful. I highly recommend.
***1/2 out of ****
One of those only one person can see that the asshole is an asshole movies. I can't stand those movies, but wait, there's a twist, the guy that sees the asshole for what he is loves the dumb bitch in the movie. It's hard to like any of these characters since these types of movies usually make all the characters seem fucking retarded because they can't tell that the asshole is an asshole so yeah. Mandy Moore's character is pretty much a dumb bitch(OH NO, HE HASN'T WRITTEN HIS VOWS YET!) so it's hard to really sympathize with the dude from The Office's character that much because he's in love with her. The ending is that type of faux happy ending found in every terrible chick flick imaginable, which are always a joy to watch. I also hate fat annoying Jewish kids and thank God, this movie has one. It was pretty bad.
*1/2 out of ****
Broken English(dir. Zoe R. Cassavetes)
You could say this is my "Scoop" of this year where I know the movie is fluff, but that doesn't stop me from enjoying it immensely. It's basically a chick flick with indie aesthetics and I guess some could see that as a slam, but sometimes, you just need a hopelessly romantic movie once in a while and boy, this movie is hopelessly romantic. There are some moments that don't work all that well and the movie was sort of drag until the central romance comes into play. Some of it's plot devices were pretty clichéd and contrived as well, but as a whole, the film was absolutely delightful. I highly recommend.
***1/2 out of ****
Saturday, October 13, 2007
Oh Daddy, don't you love me?...
1408(dir. Mikael Håfström)
It's basically the Haunted Mansion(the ride, not the movie) except less scary and fun. Compared to Vacancy, this film depends on it's hotel room setting to change and expand through supernatural means to "entertain" it's audience instead of embracing the claustrophobic nature of having such a minuscule setting for a majority of the running time to actually create a rather unnerving atmosphere to entertain it's audience with. There's a serious lack of danger in this film to make any of it thrilling or even mildly scary. Some aspects of the film are interesting, but seem to linger with very little examination or depth. The main character having lost a daughter to some unnamed illness and being haunted by the memory of her during his stay in 1408 is certainly interesting, but this aspect of the character's history is used to manipulate it's audience to sympathize with his character more instead of being used to create a layer of depth to the film. The character also has some daddy issues even though the film doesn't bother to dwell on this any longer than probably 2 minutes. I feel I might be overly harsh for giving this film the same rating as Wild Hogs, but John Travolta's train wreck of a performance was at least a little amusing to behold while this film is an absolute bore despite being less brain-dead.
*1/2 out of ****
It's basically the Haunted Mansion(the ride, not the movie) except less scary and fun. Compared to Vacancy, this film depends on it's hotel room setting to change and expand through supernatural means to "entertain" it's audience instead of embracing the claustrophobic nature of having such a minuscule setting for a majority of the running time to actually create a rather unnerving atmosphere to entertain it's audience with. There's a serious lack of danger in this film to make any of it thrilling or even mildly scary. Some aspects of the film are interesting, but seem to linger with very little examination or depth. The main character having lost a daughter to some unnamed illness and being haunted by the memory of her during his stay in 1408 is certainly interesting, but this aspect of the character's history is used to manipulate it's audience to sympathize with his character more instead of being used to create a layer of depth to the film. The character also has some daddy issues even though the film doesn't bother to dwell on this any longer than probably 2 minutes. I feel I might be overly harsh for giving this film the same rating as Wild Hogs, but John Travolta's train wreck of a performance was at least a little amusing to behold while this film is an absolute bore despite being less brain-dead.
*1/2 out of ****
Friday, August 24, 2007
Oh John Travolta...
Wild Hogs(dir. Walt Becker)
The homophobia was in bad taste, but I guess all the jokes and pretty much everything was in bad taste. Not in terms of political correctness, in terms of humor. The only amusing part was seeing John Travolta getting attacked by a crow for no apparent reason. It was a ridiculous moment that was entertaining while all the other jokes don't even feel ridiculous, they just feel mundance and embarrassing in terms of how bad they are. They almost don't seem like their jokes because you question how some screenwriter thought any of them were funny. I wouldn't even think they were jokes if this movie wasn't labelled as a comedy. John Travolta gives an outstandingly bad performance. It wasn't totally dreadful to watch and it wasn't a terribly painful experience, but it definately wasn't a good one either.
*1/2 out of ****
The homophobia was in bad taste, but I guess all the jokes and pretty much everything was in bad taste. Not in terms of political correctness, in terms of humor. The only amusing part was seeing John Travolta getting attacked by a crow for no apparent reason. It was a ridiculous moment that was entertaining while all the other jokes don't even feel ridiculous, they just feel mundance and embarrassing in terms of how bad they are. They almost don't seem like their jokes because you question how some screenwriter thought any of them were funny. I wouldn't even think they were jokes if this movie wasn't labelled as a comedy. John Travolta gives an outstandingly bad performance. It wasn't totally dreadful to watch and it wasn't a terribly painful experience, but it definately wasn't a good one either.
*1/2 out of ****
Wednesday, August 15, 2007
Oh Lena & Vanilla Ice & Jesus & Pauly...
300(dir. Zack Snyder)
Homophobic and homoerotic? You bet. This film's idea of manliness is defending a society with such good wholesome morals as throwing babies in pits to die if they won't make good warriors because of deformities or some visible sign of weakness. The film's look isn't all that great. There's been a lot of hoopla about the film's look, but it's visually uninteresting when compared to a film like Sin City. The most visually interesting aspect was one of the few non-computer generated aspects of the film and that was the main actress, Lena Headey. A breath of fresh air in this sausage-fest of a movie. The film throws around words like freedom and slavery to add weight to their cause, but you don't really care because the acting and dialogue is bad. It would have been fine if the movie was trying to be campy, but the film takes it's idea of masculinity too seriously and expects people to buy into it. Probably the most manly scene doesn't even concern any of the 300 spartans. It concerns Lena Headey's character and a politician. There's actually spontaniety and excitement to that scene that is seriously lacking in the rest of the film. The action is dull because of the extreme amount of slow motion intended to make all the teenage boys in the theater to go "that's hella sick, bro." Snyder makes Mel look like a minimalist when it comes to use of slow motion. It can't even deliver on the violence either because of the computer generated blood looking extremely fake. I'm sure, some could make an argument that it's stylish, but it's still shitty looking especially when the rest of the film is bland and fairly one-note. The color that you'll come away with is gold because the sun always lights the scene in a dull gold shade. I actually liked Xerxes more than any of the spartans because he was flamboyant and actually had personality. It was obvious that the director intended for all the male viewers to view Xerxes as a freak because he's pretty much a drag queen, but I find him more sympathetic than Leonidas or his men because he's accepting of the hunchback character. The hunchback's betrayal was probably supposed to be some huge blow to the audience and I could imagine the audience wishing Leonidas would have killed him, but he has way more personality than any of the 300 spartans. This movie sucked.
*1/2 out of ****
TMNT(dir. Kevin Munroe)
No Shredder + No Personality + No Vanilla Ice = No Good
*1/2 out of ****
The Life of Jesus(dir. Bruno Dumont)
I like how he displays these asshole characters as pretty much assholes. I think the title applies to the Arab character because he's easily the most sympathetic guy in the movie and well, he dies. He adds a sense of humanity to the picture that the film was lacking. The shots of actual penetration during the sex scenes were unnecessary. Along with seeing Freddy's mom's vagina after she got out of the bath, which amounted to about 2 seconds of the film and seemed as if the editor just didn't cut in time or something. The ending was moving in a sense, but you could picture it having a stronger emotional impact if you were able to sympathize with Freddy's character more.
***1/2 out of ****
Mishima: A Life in Four Chapters(dir. Paul Schrader)
This is the way you make a film about an artist. You show bits of his life and you show bits of his work. It shows how his life shaped his work and it shows how his work shaped him. Phillip Glass's score is amazing. This film would have been amazing if a moment near the end didn't feel so ridiculous and akward. It's easily the best film I've seen by him so far.
***1/2 out of ****
Homophobic and homoerotic? You bet. This film's idea of manliness is defending a society with such good wholesome morals as throwing babies in pits to die if they won't make good warriors because of deformities or some visible sign of weakness. The film's look isn't all that great. There's been a lot of hoopla about the film's look, but it's visually uninteresting when compared to a film like Sin City. The most visually interesting aspect was one of the few non-computer generated aspects of the film and that was the main actress, Lena Headey. A breath of fresh air in this sausage-fest of a movie. The film throws around words like freedom and slavery to add weight to their cause, but you don't really care because the acting and dialogue is bad. It would have been fine if the movie was trying to be campy, but the film takes it's idea of masculinity too seriously and expects people to buy into it. Probably the most manly scene doesn't even concern any of the 300 spartans. It concerns Lena Headey's character and a politician. There's actually spontaniety and excitement to that scene that is seriously lacking in the rest of the film. The action is dull because of the extreme amount of slow motion intended to make all the teenage boys in the theater to go "that's hella sick, bro." Snyder makes Mel look like a minimalist when it comes to use of slow motion. It can't even deliver on the violence either because of the computer generated blood looking extremely fake. I'm sure, some could make an argument that it's stylish, but it's still shitty looking especially when the rest of the film is bland and fairly one-note. The color that you'll come away with is gold because the sun always lights the scene in a dull gold shade. I actually liked Xerxes more than any of the spartans because he was flamboyant and actually had personality. It was obvious that the director intended for all the male viewers to view Xerxes as a freak because he's pretty much a drag queen, but I find him more sympathetic than Leonidas or his men because he's accepting of the hunchback character. The hunchback's betrayal was probably supposed to be some huge blow to the audience and I could imagine the audience wishing Leonidas would have killed him, but he has way more personality than any of the 300 spartans. This movie sucked.
*1/2 out of ****
TMNT(dir. Kevin Munroe)
No Shredder + No Personality + No Vanilla Ice = No Good
*1/2 out of ****
The Life of Jesus(dir. Bruno Dumont)
I like how he displays these asshole characters as pretty much assholes. I think the title applies to the Arab character because he's easily the most sympathetic guy in the movie and well, he dies. He adds a sense of humanity to the picture that the film was lacking. The shots of actual penetration during the sex scenes were unnecessary. Along with seeing Freddy's mom's vagina after she got out of the bath, which amounted to about 2 seconds of the film and seemed as if the editor just didn't cut in time or something. The ending was moving in a sense, but you could picture it having a stronger emotional impact if you were able to sympathize with Freddy's character more.
***1/2 out of ****
Mishima: A Life in Four Chapters(dir. Paul Schrader)
This is the way you make a film about an artist. You show bits of his life and you show bits of his work. It shows how his life shaped his work and it shows how his work shaped him. Phillip Glass's score is amazing. This film would have been amazing if a moment near the end didn't feel so ridiculous and akward. It's easily the best film I've seen by him so far.
***1/2 out of ****
Sunday, April 29, 2007
Oh Emilio...
Bobby(dir. Emilio Estevez)
Dull and boring. It picks up at the end when RFK comes into the picture through the use of documentary footage, but Emilio milks his assassination to build sympathy for his characters. His characters are his own creation while RFK was a real human being. Some moments were just flat-out bad to the point that it was almost painful to watch like the scene where Laurence Fishburne(sp?) tells Freddy Rodriguez that he is a king and the whole acid trip with Asthon Kutcher. I have to say the whole acid storyline was actually entertaining, but in the context of the film, it is trying to be historically accurate with a very stereotypical idea that a lot of people were dropping acid in the '60s. I was also annoyed by the constant referencing to movies at the time in the beginning like The Graduate and Bonnie & Clyde. It was bad.
*1/2 out of ****
Dull and boring. It picks up at the end when RFK comes into the picture through the use of documentary footage, but Emilio milks his assassination to build sympathy for his characters. His characters are his own creation while RFK was a real human being. Some moments were just flat-out bad to the point that it was almost painful to watch like the scene where Laurence Fishburne(sp?) tells Freddy Rodriguez that he is a king and the whole acid trip with Asthon Kutcher. I have to say the whole acid storyline was actually entertaining, but in the context of the film, it is trying to be historically accurate with a very stereotypical idea that a lot of people were dropping acid in the '60s. I was also annoyed by the constant referencing to movies at the time in the beginning like The Graduate and Bonnie & Clyde. It was bad.
*1/2 out of ****
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