Oh 1st Annual Albertos Winners...

Nominees
I'll write explanations for the wins later. And the winners are...

Best Film:
Fay Grim(dir. Hal Hartley)
Reasoning: I don't know. I like it. If there were a runner-up, I'd say Death Proof was it.
Best First Film:
Red Road(dir. Andrea Arnold)
Reasoning: Same as above.
Best Performance by an Actor in a Leading Role:
Simon Yam, Election
Reasoning: In a lot of ways, he plays a similar character to Daniel Day-Lewis' Daniel Plainview except he's a gangster instead of an oil man and he is much, much subtler at portraying this psychopath. Both films even end up having their "protagonists" bludgeoning their "enemy's" head with an object(a rock in this case), but the difference between the actors' approach couldn't be any different. The character is actually shrouded in mystery for a good portion of the film until you realize this guy is off his fucking rocker, which makes the fact that I actually thought he was the lesser of two evils in the "election" all the more shocking. He's the type of guy that'll be calmly smiling at you one second and then murder you senselessly the next. It's a truly impressive performance.
Best Performance by an Actress in a Leading Role:
Parker Posey, Broken English
Reasoning: Almost picked Keira over her mainly because she made watching Pirates extremely enjoyable, but that's probably more due to sex appeal than her actual performance. I made up for it with her lips winning the best body award category. Parker Posey gives an extremely vulnerable and somewhat scary performance in this film. I don't know what else to write. Umm...
Best Performance by an Actor in a Supporting Role:
Michael Cera, Juno
Reasoning: He's just so damn lovable.
Best Performance by an Actress in a Supporting Role:
Mary Elizabeth Winstead, Death Proof
Reasoning: For a movie that's basically a bunch of chicks talking, the one that stuck out to me was her. It's most likely due to the fact that I thought she was the most attractive out of the bunch and she wears a cheerleader outfit throughout the whole movie, but let's be honest if someone can come across this sexy without doing anything much other than talk, they deserve some recognition.
Best Performance by an Actor in a Brief On-screen Appearance:
Barry Corbin, No Country for Old Men
Reasoning: It feels strange saying this about the actor who played Maurice from Northern Exposure, but my reasoning was quite simple here: he gave the best and most memorable performance in the movie and he was probably not even in it any longer than 5 minutes.
Best Performance by an Actress in a Brief On-screen Appearance:
Tina Fey, Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film for Theaters
Reasoning: Because I fucking hate Tila Tequila.
Best Ensemble Cast:
Juno
Reasoning: I was hesitant about giving this category to this film because it's fairly overrated in my eyes and the lead actress, Ellen Page, who is in practically every scene annoyed me with her performance, but all the supporting players are so delightful that I simply had to give this category to it.
Best Performance by an Inanimate Object:
Craig T. Nelson's hair, Blades of Glory
Reasoning: Because it was easily the funniest part in the movie.
Best Performance by a Body Part:
Keira Knightley's lips, Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End
Reasoning: Why not?
Best Performance by an Animal:
Spike, The Game Plan
Reasoning: For looking so good in a tutu.
Best Action Film:
Live Free or Die Hard(dir. Len Wiseman)
Reasoning: Works best as an action flick in the bunch.
Best Crime Film:
Election(dir. Johnnie To)
Reasoning: Basically good all-around.
Best Horror/Suspense Film:
28 Weeks Later(dir. Juan Carlos Fresnadillo)
Reasoning: Best out of the bunch.
Best Comedy Film:
The Game Plan(dir. Andy Fickman)
Reasoning: Because it makes me happy and I have a man crush Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson.
Best Animated Film:
Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film for Theaters(dir. Matt Maiellaro & Dave Willis)
Reasoning: It's number 1 in the hood, G.
Best Director:
Hal Hartley, Fay Grim
Reasoning: Because he's the man.
Best Screenplay:
Quentin Tarantino, Death Proof
Reasoning: He essentially made a movie about a bunch of chicks that basically talk the whole time and it wasn't horribly boring and annoying? Simply amazing...
Best Line of Dialogue:
"Number one on the field and number one in your heart.", The Game Plan
Reasoning: Because it's #1 in my heart.
Best Exchange of Dialogue:
Live Free or Die Hard[Rated]
Matt Farrell: You just killed that helicopter with a car.
John McClane: I was out of bullets.
Reasoning: Because he just killed that helicopter with a car.
Best Set Piece/Scene:
Car chase in the rain, We Own the Night
Reasoning: Best. car. chase. I've. ever. seen.
Best Editing:
John Axelrad, We Own the Night
Reasoning: Because that car chase is edited incredibly.
Best Score:
Jonny Greenwood, There Will Be Blood
Reasoning: Because it's easily the best thing that came out of the movie.
Best Song:
"Where Do You Go To (My Lovely)" performed by Peter Sarstedt, Hotel Chevalier
Reasoning: Because it was utilized in such a way that made it crucial to the film as a whole and it's pretty good as well.
Best Cinematography:
Sayombhu Mukdeeprom, Syndromes and a Century
Reasoning: Because it's beautiful?

Oh 1st Annual Albertos Nominees...

Basically, this is going to be the Oscars done by me and only me. My nominations, my choices, my everything. I'll add in new categories and omit some of the more technical awards that are hard to judge. I'll try to stick with mainly American and English-language films for the categories because that's how it usually is for the Oscars. And here are the nominees...

Best Film:
The Darjeeling Limited(dir. Wes Anderson)
Death Proof(dir. Quentin Tarantino)
Fay Grim(dir. Hal Hartley)
Pirates of the Carribbean: At World's End(dir. Gore Verbenski)
Southland Tales(dir. Richard Kelly)

Best First Film:
Broken English(dir. Zoe Cassavetes)
Gone Baby Gone(dir. Ben Affleck)
Red Road(dir. Andrea Arnold)

Best Performance by an Actor in a Leading Role:
Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson, The Game Plan
Owen Wilson, The Darjeeling Limited
Simon Yam, Election
Viggo Mortensen, Eastern Promises
Will Smith, I Am Legend

Best Performance by an Actress in a Leading Role:
Charlotte Gainsbourg, Golden Door
Kate Dickie, Red Road
Keira Knightley, Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End
Nicole Kidman, Margot at the Wedding
Parker Posey, Broken English

Best Performance by an Actor in a Supporting Role:
Christopher Mintz-Plasse, Superbad
Kurt Russell, Death Proof
Louis Koo, Election
Michael Cera, Juno
Tony Curran, Red Road

Best Performance by an Actress in a Supporting Role:
Adrienne Shelly, Waitress
Jennifer Jason Leigh, Margot at the Wedding
Mary Elizabeth Winstead, Death Proof
Naomi Watts, Eastern Promises
Samantha Morton, Control

Best Performance by an Actor in a Brief On-screen Appearance:
Adnan Maral, Fay Grim
Barry Corbin, No Country for Old Men
Bill Murray, The Darjeeling Limited
Dan Swallow, There Will Be Blood
Paul Reubens, Reno 911!: Miami

Best Performance by an Actress in a Brief On-screen Appearance:
Tila 'Tequila' Nguyen, I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry
Tina Fey, Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film for Theaters

Best Ensemble Cast:
Death Proof
Eastern Promises
Election
Juno
Margot at the Wedding

Best Performance by an Inanimate Object:
Bowling pin, There Will Be Blood
Cheerleader outfit, Death Proof
Craig T. Nelson's hair, Blades of Glory
ID card, Superbad
Paddy Considine's moustache, Hot Fuzz

Best Performance by a Body Part:
Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson's biceps, The Game Plan
Jack Black's ass, Margot at the Wedding
Keira Knightley's lips, Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End
Owen Wilson's nose, The Darjeeling Limited
Viggo Mortensen's balls, Eastern Promises

Best Performance by an Animal:
Sam, I Am Legend
Some goose, Hot Fuzz
"Chase" dog, No Country for Old Men
Some snake, The Darjeeling Limited
Spike, The Game Plan

Best Action Film:
Exiled(dir. Johnnie To)
Hot Fuzz(dir. Edgar Wright)
Live Free or Die Hard(dir. Len Wiseman)
Tears of the Black Tiger(dir. Wisit Sasanatieng)

Best Crime Film:
Eastern Promises(dir. David Cronenberg)
Election(dir. Johnnie To)
Triad Election(dir. Johnnie To)
We Own the Night(dir. James Gray)
Zodiac(dir. David Fincher)

Best Horror/Suspense Film:
28 Weeks Later(dir. Juan Carlos Fresnadillo)
I Am Legend(dir. Francis Lawrence)
Vacancy(dir. Nimrod Antal)

Best Comedy Film:
Blades of Glory(dir. Josh Gordon & Will Speck)
The Game Plan(dir. Andy Fickman)
I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry(dir. Dennis Dugan)
Margot at the Wedding(dir. Noah Baumbach)
Superbad(dir. Greg Mottola)

Best Animated Film:
Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film for Theaters(dir. Matt Maiellaro & Dave Willis)
Ratatouille(dir. Brad Bird)
The Simpsons Movie(dir. David Silverman)

Best Director:
Andrea Arnold, Red Road
Hal Hartley, Fay Grim
Johnnie To, Election
Quentin Tarantino, Death Proof
Wes Anderson, The Darjeeling Limited

Best Screenplay:
Evan Goldberg & Seth Rogen, Superbad
Hal Hartley, Fay Grim
Matt Maiellaro & Dave Willis, Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film for Theaters
Richard Kelly, Southland Tales
Quentin Tarantino, Death Proof

Best Line of Dialogue:
"DRAINAGGGGGE!", There Will Be Blood
"Like a man dick?", Superbad
"Look at these assholes.", The Darjeeling Limited
"Number one on the field and number one in your heart.", The Game Plan
"Yippy-kai-yay, motherfucker.", Live Free or Die Hard[Unrated]

Best Exchange of Dialogue:
Fay Grim
Ned Grim: It's porn.
Simon Grim: It sure is.

Live Free or Die Hard[Rated]
Matt Farrell: You just killed that helicopter with a car.
John McClane: I was out of bullets.

Best Set Piece/Scene:
Bathhouse fight scene, Eastern Promises
Car chase in the rain, We Own the Night
Drug house scene, Gone Baby Gone
Musical number with watermelon umbrellas, The Wayward Cloud
Oil derrick accident, There Will Be Blood

Best Editing:
Hal Hartley, Fay Grim
John Axelrad, We Own the Night
Sam Bauer, Southland Tales
Sally Menke, Death Proof

Best Score:
Hal Hartley, Fay Grim
Jonny Greenwood, There Will Be Blood

Best Song:
"Feeling Good" performed by Nina Simone, Golden Door
"Hurdy Gurdy Man" performed by Donovan, Zodiac
"Rock Lobster" performed by The B-52's, Knocked Up
"Sea of Love" performed by Cat Power, Juno
"Where Do You Go To (My Lovely)" performed by Peter Sarstedt, Hotel Chevalier

Best Cinematography:
Cheng Siu Keung, Election
Cheng Siu Keung, Triad Election
Robert Elswit, There Will Be Blood
Robert Yeoman, The Darjeeling Limited
Sayombhu Mukdeeprom, Syndromes and a Century